having worth or value.
The practice of worthiness is about vulnerability. It’s about recognizing the voice of “never enough” and choosing to step into your wholeness anyway. It’s about sharing the places where you get stuck and want to give in and finding the strength and courage to persevere. It’s about finding your tribe, your community, your home and basking in the sweetness of belonging.
“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” ~ Brené Brown
The following comes from the research of Dr. Brené Brown
- Worthiness is a birthright. It doesn’t come with a list of prerequisites to follow to be loved or to belong.
- To live from a place of worthiness we must work to understand the story of who we are in this world and own all of the various pieces. When we spend our lives running away from the parts of our story we don’t like or when we are critical or judgmental we lose access to our sense of worthiness. We diminish our power and then we need to engage in behaviors that leave us performing, perfecting, pleasing, and trying to prove our worthiness.
- Using other peoples reactions to evaluate our worthiness is a waste of time and energy. It doesn’t get us where we want to go and it is a vicious and painful cycle that depletes our energy.
- People with a strong sense of worthiness think to themselves each day “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
- Owning our worthiness is a practice that helps us to see ourselves as sacred and engage in behaviors that nourish our soul.
- The act of letting go of what other people think is what helps us to gain access to our worthiness.
- When people feel good about the choices they are making and they are engaged with the world from a place of worthiness rather than scarcity, they do not feel the need to judge or attack others. The world becomes a much friendlier place.
How To Start Practicing
Practice Meditation – A meditation practice helps you become more intimate with yourself and the constant chatter in your mind. It can help you make friends with your inner critic and dissect the thoughts that move your further away from owning your worthiness.
Assess – Understand your shame triggers.What are the experiences, people, moments or thoughts that leave you feeling you are “not enough”? Understanding the choices you make in these uncomfortable moments can help you to choose strategies that empower you rather than tear you apart.
Be of Service – Participate in activities that are meaningful to you. Helping others, being of service, sharing kindness can help you stay in touch with your sense of worthiness. Studies show that generosity has physical, mental and emotional benefits.
Assess Your Values – know your personal values. When you live your life aligned with your values you are less vulnerable to your inner critic and more likely to practice self-compassion.
Practice Self-Compassion – As humans we suffer. In times of suffering we can be harsh with ourselves and forget our shared humanity. All beings suffer. Dr. Kristen Neff has identified three steps to practicing self-compassion: 1) Acknowledge and notice your suffering, 2) Be kind and caring in response to suffering, 3) Remember that imperfection is part of the human experience and something we all share.